The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
