so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
