How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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