i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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