Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
