In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
