he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
