nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
