Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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