why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
