When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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