My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just cropdusted the office
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
