think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
