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I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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