Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
