My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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