you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
