I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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