Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I bet he comes in French.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
