You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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