This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
