I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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