I feel great
I just peed on a car
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In other news, I just burned my penis
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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