They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
