Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
