Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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