Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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