I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
