well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
