My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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