I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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