I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
