dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
