Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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