this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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