oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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