Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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