More tranny stories later!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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