why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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