Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
