Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
that's an acceptable place to lick
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
