I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
