OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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