omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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