she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
