i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
