He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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