last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
