you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
