ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
