we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
