I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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