My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
