There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When did angry sex become our thing?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
