It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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