We're facebook friends in real life
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
