Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
