he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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