So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
