I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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