fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
