I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
