Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
