he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
