After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
