I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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