Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
