I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
