I'm eating all of the evidence.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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