Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I will pee on everything he values.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
