There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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