the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize